Supporting Friends with their Mental Wellbeing at School
January 09, 2024
How to tell if my friends are struggling with their mental health
Mental health problems can occur in many ways such as depression, anxiety, or an eating disorder, sometimes it is hard to know what mental health issues your friends may be struggling with. It me be distressing for you and others around you when you are unsure how to support your peers.
There are some signs you can look out for which can indicate someone struggling with their mental health. If you are unsure about why your peers may be behaving differently around you or others, they could be suffering from low mood due to private issues in their home life. Therefore, a change in behaviour or mood is a key sign of someone struggling with their mental health. For example, they may seem to get angry very quickly and come across noticeably short-tempered. They may not want to engage in meaningful conversations because their thought is occupied with other topics.
The key symptoms of anxiety in children (caused by many mental health problems such as an eating disorder trauma).
Physiological symptoms
When children experience anxiety, it is common for their innate fight or flight response to be triggered when in social situations. For example, they may become distressed and experience separation anxiety when they are away from people they are close to, such as their parents or trusted teachers. You may notice you or your peers having negative thoughts in situations such as talking to unfamiliar adults or teachers. You or your peers may also experience heart beating faster, sweating, or replaying unrealistic negative events, or past negative events in your head.
Avoidance
Anxious individuals may start to recognise situations or people which cause them to experience sadness or anxiety. Therefore, marked avoidance may occur in feared places or situations. When the fear of one situation is generalised to many others, it may cause withdrawal from interacting with others, or even avoiding coming to school.
Safety behaviours
Young people suffering from anxiety may turn to behaviours or items which increase their feelings of safety. These include seeking reassurance from adults such as parents to teachers. These safety behaviours may only provide short-term relief for symptoms of anxiety, therefore may feel distress when the safety behaviour is not in action or when they are unable to carry the behaviour out.
Tantrums or behaviour outbursts
These can include crying shouting, and screaming or may in some cases cause physical aggression. Outbursts caused by anxiety are usually severe and seem to appear out of context. Outbursts are distressing for the individual and often for their peers and carers because they may not appear to have a clear cause. When supporting individuals who suffer from outbursts and tantrums, it is important to identify triggers and the difficulties leading to these behaviours.
Problems with sleep
When suffering from anxiety, it is common to experience worrying thoughts at bedtime. Thoughts like these make it difficult to fall asleep. Additionally, children may experience distressing nightmares and dreams, which cause them to wake up in the night. Due to the negativity of thoughts, it may also be difficult to fall back asleep after waking up. Therefore, it is important to understand that children suffering from mental health problems may appear very tired when going to school, also contributing to their low mood, behaviour outbursts or aggression.
Friendships
Children suffering from anxiety may have difficulties making and maintaining friendships and peer relationships. This may be because they have perceived fears of certain situations and remain close to their parents and other trusted adults, they feel will protect them. At school, children may prefer to spend time with their teachers during lunch or break times as they feel these adults will be able to cope if their fears come true.
How you can support your friends
Often, children and young people talk to each other at school about their worries and distressing thoughts. Although it may be difficult, it is always beneficial to discuss worrying thoughts and feelings of sadness with trusted peers/teachers or caregivers. If a peer discloses their negative or worrying emotions to you, and you feel their behaviour and emotions are persistent and distressing, it is important to take the right steps to support yourselves and your peers.
There are also guides available for parents, on how you can recognise and support children if they are concerned about a child’s mental wellbeing.
When sharing your concerns about a friend, it is important to speak to the appropriate person. For example, a teacher at your school will have the right techniques for helping you and others. Teachers will provide appropriate support and will ensure you and your friends’ feelings are acknowledged, they will remain positive in helping children's mental health and wellbeing.
Additionally, asking parents to speak to teachers or other professionals is an alternative way to ensure you and your peers are provided with the most appropriate and positive support.
For more support visit Mindsum.